Why Interest-Based Mediation Leads to Better Outcomes

When people seek mediation or enter negotiations, they often arrive with firm positions and a desire to be heard—and to “win.” It’s a natural human instinct. But one of the most common obstacles I see is that parties become locked in positional thinking, rather than exploring each other’s deeper needs and values.

This approach usually leads to stalemate, resentment, or superficial solutions that don’t last. That’s why interest-based mediation is such a powerful alternative.

The Problem with Positional Bargaining

In traditional negotiation, each side typically takes a stance—“I want X,” “You must do Y”—and defends it. This positional bargaining can quickly turn into a tug-of-war, where each party becomes more focused on being right than on resolving the conflict.

People get stuck trying to undermine the other person’s argument, rather than asking why that person feels so strongly in the first place.

This is especially common in emotionally charged cases like:

• Divorce and parenting disputes
• Business partnership disagreements
• Employment and workplace conflict
• Real estate and contract issues
• Contested estates and family inheritances

And while some mediators may try to broker a compromise between opposing positions, true resolution often remains out of reach.

What Is Interest-Based Mediation?

Interest-based mediation shifts the focus from what each party says they want to why they want it. It’s about uncovering the underlying values, needs, fears, and goals that drive conflict—things like:

• Stability
• Respect
• Time with children
• Financial security
• Clarity and closure
• Autonomy or control
• Justice or fairness

Once those interests are out in the open, the conversation can move from “either/or” to “how can we meet as many needs as possible?”

This method is often associated with the Harvard Negotiation Project and the book Getting to Yes, which popularized the idea that focusing on interests rather than positions produces stronger, more durable agreements.

How Interest-Based Mediation Works in Practice

As a mediator, I begin by creating a space where each party can express their perspective without interruption. Once the positions are on the table, I help both sides look beneath the surface:

• Why is this issue important to you?
• What do you hope to achieve or avoid?
• If that position wasn’t available, what would still matter most?
• Can we identify any shared goals?

From there, we move into brainstorming and problem-solving, often discovering new options that neither side had considered.

This approach can lead to agreements that are not only more creative, but also more deeply satisfying—and far less likely to fall apart later.

Benefits of Interest-Based Mediation

The advantages of interest-based mediation go far beyond faster resolution:

• Stronger relationships – especially important in co-parenting, family businesses, or ongoing partnerships
• Better communication – parties walk away with tools to manage future conflict
• Higher compliance rates – people are more likely to follow through on agreements they helped shape
• Reduced emotional toll – airing underlying concerns leads to more healing than arguing over demands
• Customized outcomes – unlike court decisions, mediated solutions can reflect unique needs

Whether you’re navigating a high-conflict divorce, resolving a business dispute, or addressing workplace tension, interest-based mediation gives you a way to move forward with dignity and clarity.

Let’s Talk

If you’re ready to resolve conflict constructively—with compassion, creativity, and a clear plan—I’d be honored to help.

Barber Mediation provides interest-based mediation services for individuals, families, and businesses throughout Utah and nationwide via Zoom.

Get in touch today:

• Schedule your free consultation
• Call 801-981-8789
• Send an email

Related Reading:
How Divorce Mediation Works – Learn what to expect and how to prepare.